logo

J.P. Ricciardi’s Blackberry on Trade Deadline Day

July 31, 2009   ·     ·   Jump to comments
Article Source: Bleacher Report - New York Yankees

It’s less than eight hours before the MLB non-waiver trade deadline, and J.P. Ricciardi’s blackberry is undoubtedly buzzing with offers and inquiries about Roy Halladay. Due to advances in technology and incredible reconnaissance work, I was able to obtain and hack into Ricciardi’s blackberry and actually foresee which messages he will be receiving today:

 

 

 

9:22amRed Sox General Manager Theo Epstien checks in to inquire about the Red Sox’s offer on the table for Roy Halladay. He’s getting a little antsy because he wants to get this all hammered out so he can beat the traffic on the way to his house in the Hamptons.

 

 

9:54amNed Colletti of the Los Angeles Dodgers proposes a movie date to discuss trading prospects to get Doc. “Funny People” is ruled out immediately because Colletti is not a fan of Adam Sandler movies.

 

10:14amTexas Rangers’ President Nolan Ryan attempts to use hard bargaining methods such as antagonizing players.

10:15amNolan Ryan immediately apologizes and assures J.P. that he was just trying to use his “southern charm.” Ryan also suggests that Halladay might have a better chance of throwing a no-hitter in the AL Central.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

11:31amFormer Blue Jay B.J. Ryan inquires about his remaining salary so he can go overhaul his wardrobe entirely to Ed Hardy T-Shirts.

2:14pmJust to stir the pot, New York Yankees’ GM Brian Cashman offers up George Costanza for Roy Halladay. Ricciardi ponders countering Halladay for Costanza/Newman, but Cashman declines.

3:42pmParked at the bar at the local Hooters eating chicken wings and drinking watered-down beer, Roy Halladay waits out the trade deadline in solidarity. Doc asks Ricciardi to tell him when it’s all over.

readers comments





Yankee Tickets

Yankee Tickets

Shop Yankee

Shop Yankee