Yankee Addicts » Dan Hanzus

New York Yankees: The Good (and Not So Good) of Spring Training

Dan Hanzus — Mon, 28 Mar 2011 18:35:42 +0000

Spring training is mercifully reaching its conclusion.

Maybe it's just me, but Yankees camp felt especially long this year. I'm guessing many of the veterans feel the same way. Except Nick Swisher, that dude loved spring training. Then again, Swish could find something to love about an asteroid crashing into Wisconsin. Swishalicious loves life.

The team is heading up north on Tuesday, so here are few good (and not so good) things I took from Tampa.

THE GOOD: A-Rod Looks Like A-Rod

It's not just that Alex Rodriguez led the Yankees in home runs and RBI this spring, it's how he did it. Last weekend, he drove a fastball over the Steinbrenner Field batter's eye in center field. The eye is more than 408-feet away from home plate and standing as high as the Green Monster. His hot spring has led to some unfair questions about whether he's about to return to to the 50-homer, 150-RBI form of his 2007 MVP season. That seems to be asking a lot, but a healthy A-Rod is a dangerous A-Rod.

Money quote: "There's just more explosion that I feel."—Rodriguez on his swing (or possibly Cameron Diaz)

THE NOT SO GOOD: Injuries

Don't underestimate the power of a spring training injury. If you're lucky, it's just a blip on the radar of a long season. But sometimes these things can have lasting effects.

Entering last month, I pegged Curtis Granderson as an under-the-radar guy to have a big bounce-back season. His oblique injury clouds that promise, however, and the Yankees' tight-lipped treatment of it makes you wonder if it's a more serious injury than initially thought.

Meanwhile, Francisco Cervelli (broken foot) and Pedro Feliciano (sore elbow) will both begin the season on the DL. Veteran teams are going to have injuries; let's just hope the Yankees don't become the 2011 version of the 2010 Red Sox.

Money quote: "I just think (injuries are) part of the rigors of spring training. Every year there seems to be one thing in one camp." - Joe Girardi

THE GOOD: The Killer B's

The Yankees are desperately thin in their starting rotation, but that may not be a long-term problem for the franchise. Uber-prospects Manny Banuelos and Dellin Betances had fans salivating this month with their huge potential. (The rabies outbreak in the Tampa area may explain this, but still). Banuelos, in particular, looked like a young version of Johan Santana in both style and delivery. They obviously won't break camp with the team, but the future appears bright.

Money quote: “He has as good stuff as I’ve seen. I compare it to [Clayton] Kershaw or even more polished than Kershaw, which is pretty good.” —Russell Martin on Banuelos

THE NOT SO GOOD: Catching Concerns

Remember the heady times of winter when the Yankees appeared to have an embarrassment of riches behind the plate? Well, that was before Francisco Cervelli busted his foot and Jesus Montero and Austine Romine crapped the bed in their audition for the backup job behind Russell Martin.

Now it appears Gustavo Molina will break camp as the backup. That's right, the league's fourth-best catcher named Molina will be at the Stadium on Thursday. This is like getting Frank Stallone to star in Cobra 2: Crime Remains A Disease And I'm Struggling To Find The Cure.

(Probably uttered) Money quote: "Gustavo freaking Molina? Somebody kill me." —Jorge Posada

THE GOOD: Starting Rotation

Brian Cashman properly played the months after the Cliff Lee and Andy Pettitte cold shoulders. He knew he was backed into a corner, but he also knew a panic trade would exacerbate an already big problem.

So he played a more conservative card; collecting a cast of MLB misfit toys (Freddy Garcia, Bartolo Colon, Kevin Millwood) and banked that one of them could be halfway decent. Well, both Garcia and Colon pitched well enough to win a rotation spot (Garcia was given the role with Colon going to the 'pen) and no Yankees pitcher looked better than Ivan Nova this spring. There's room for some cautious optimism here.

Money quote: “I don’t know if he can help us or not, but I’m willing to put a no-risk, possible-reward option that’s been on the table the whole time."—Cashman on the Millwood signing

THE NOT SO GOOD: The Starting Rotation

Yeah, I know. Kind of a cop out. Sue me. But as a diehard baseball fan for more than two decades, I know that teams don't win without quality starting pitching. What worries me the most is how easily Joe Girardi appears to have put his faith back in A.J. Burnett.

He tabbed the erratic right-hander as the team's No. 2 starter on Sunday, this despite Burnett coming off the worst statistical season by a starter in franchise history.

Don't even get me started on Nova, who I'm supposed to believe is going to step right into the No. 4 job. Isn't this the same guy who feared the fifth inning last year the way Charlie Sheen's publicist fears every ring of his cell phone?

Money quote (via translator): "Hey guys, remember me?" -- Kei Igawa

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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Alex Rodriguez: Is It Too Soon To Knock A-Rod Off the Superstar Perch?

Dan Hanzus — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 13:15:13 +0000

For the first time in almost a decade and a half, Alex Rodriguez is not being taken in the first round of fantasy drafts.

Think about that for a second. A-Rod has been a star Major League player for almost as long as he hasn't. His breakthrough season came in 1996, when he hit .358 with 36 homers and 123 RBIs ... as a 20-year-old.

He led the league in total bases at a time in his life when he couldn't even legally drink. He finished sixth in the league in RBIs that season; everyone else in the top 10 is retired.

Even through the admittedly dumb prism of rotisserie baseball, the sustained excellence of Rodriguez's career has been incredible.

Age and injury concerns have finally dimmed A-Rod's impeccable fantasy reputation, as the Yankees third baseman is going early in the third round of most drafts.

He missed significant time for the third consecutive season in 2010 and hasn't put together a truly great year since his magnificent 2007 MVP campaign. Meanwhile, his ability to steal bases -- the skill that separates good fantasy players from great ones -- is history. He's dropped from 18 to 14 to four in that category since 2008.

Despite that, Rodriguez is giving hints down south that he may have one more big year in him, the type of season that will have people remembering how they "stole" one of the greatest players of all-time while others were taking the likes of Matt Kemp and Justin Upton.

He's played in 13 games this spring, and he has a hit in every one. And he's not just slapping singles to right, either. Cameron Diaz's love pillow has six doubles, five home runs, and leads the Yankees with 11 RBIs.

And since I brought it up, we can't discount the Diaz Effect in play here. A-Rod resurrected his postseason reputation back in 2009 with the foxy Kate Hudson dutifully cheering him on from the front row. Penny Lane has gone the way of Stillwater, but Diaz could prove to be a worthy replacement. She's even attending some games in Tampa, which is pretty good GF work when you consider how excruciating spring training games can be.

If A-Rod can stay healthy -- and admittedly big "if" -- the 35-year-old might have a huge "Nobody believed in me!" season in store. It's hard to expect him to deliver the type of 50-homer, 150-RBI seasons he produced during his pre-hip surgery, pre-PED admission days, but it wouldn't be wise to completely rule it out.

Remember this, fantasy friends: When it comes to Alex Rodriguez, we're talking about a man who thrives on infuriating the army of people who detest him. And what could anger the A-Rod haters more than a MVP-type season when most thought it was impossible?

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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New York Yankees: The Ongoing Quest To Know the “Real” Derek Jeter

Dan Hanzus — Wed, 16 Mar 2011 14:45:25 +0000

Every two years or so, a glossy men's magazine will profile Derek Jeter. Like death, taxes and Adam Sandler comedies with melodramatic courtroom climaxes, it's inevitable.

I surmise the goal of these profiles is get to know the real Derek Jeter, misguided as that notion may be. As anyone who's followed the shortstop's career can attest, Jeter enjoys sharing intimate details about himself about as much as he likes sliding shoulder-first into Ken Huckaby's shin guard.

Jeter's a pro in so many ways, and he's not going to talk himself into trouble. His interactions with the media are evidence of this.

Because of this, each profile inevitably becomes a rehash of the same stories and themes you've heard before. You'll typically come away from these features with the understanding that Jeter:

a) Is a nice guy.
b) Is a hard worker.
c) Likes his privacy.

GQ profiled the 11-time All-Star for their April 2011 edition, sending a season-ticket-holding Red Sox fan (what?!) to meet with the Yankees icon over two days in Florida.

The results were more or less what we've come to expect from this type of affair, though to the magazine's credit, they did get Jeter to pose with a prop. That was pretty cool.

Here are a few noteworthy nuggets from the piece:

"In The Captain, his forthcoming biography of Jeter, Ian O'Connor writes about a small party Jeter hosted. When Jeter's then flame and one of her girlfriends arrived at his house, Jeter answered the door and politely asked his guests to remove any cell phones or cameras they were carrying and place them on a table, explaining that he wanted to protect his privacy."

First off, how did Ian O'Connor get this information? If I were him, I'd be be installing new security equipment at my house...Jeter may be Out For Justice, Seagal-style. That's right Ian, we're talking compound wrist fractures and a possible screwdriver wound to the esophagus.

Can you imagine attending a dinner party and being asked to remove all electronic devices like you're going through security at LAX?

Here's another one...

"By all accounts, when Jeter has felt at risk of being exposed, he's taken swift steps. About ten years ago, a freelancer working on a piece for The New York Times was in the Yankees locker room after batting practice. Jeter and some other players were joking around—"it was something totally innocuous," the reporter says—when Jeter realized there was a tape recorder in the room. Later that night, the reporter was buttonholed by a Yankees PR staffer and one of the team's security guards. When the reporter tried to apologize to Jeter for any misunderstanding, he says, Jeter refused to acknowledge that anything had happened in the first place."

The "I don't even know what you're talking about" gag! Glad to see this still has a place in 21st century discourse. And while we're here, what do you think Jeter and his teammates were being so "innocuous" about? I've got 20 bucks saying they were ragging on Giambi for a particularly nasty fart. Any takers?

Moving on...

"Jeter didn't watch (Andy) Pettitte's (retirement) press conference, he was doing his weekday-morning workout, and he ignored my efforts to get him to talk about the implications for his own career. "It's something you won't even realize until you get to spring training," he said when I asked him whether Pettitte's decision made him think about his own future. "But the thing about Andy is, he left for three years to play in Houston. You don't want to say you're used to him not being there, but at least you have something to compare it to. There was a while there where he was gone."'

There was something about that quote that makes me wonder if Jeter harbors any resentment toward Pettitte for his three-year sabbatical in Houston. We know Jeter is a loyalty guy that keeps a tight circle. Maybe I'm just reading into that the wrong way, but thought it warranted mentioning.

Could you imagine Jeter using the same icy tone a year from now when Posada goes off into the sunset?

And one more...

"Before I left for the airport, I asked Jeter what he had planned for the rest of the day. "I'm probably going to go home and watch a movie," he said, grinning. "I'm going to watch The Roommate. It's a new one. Just came out today. Go check it out." It was a rare acknowledgment of his private life. His girlfriend, Minka Kelly, is one of the movie's stars. We exchanged some more pleasantries, and then, as he was climbing into his car, he shouted over one last time: "Remember: The Roommate. Seriously. Check it out. It's worth it."'

Talented, handsome, hard-working...and a sense of humor!

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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New York Yankees: Your Team Fantasy Survival Guide, 2011 Edition

Dan Hanzus — Tue, 08 Mar 2011 09:33:29 +0000

Is it really fantasy baseball season again?

I'm still exhausted from last year, when the struggles of Mark Teixeira had me acting like the overstressed black police captain in every 1980s buddy cop movie you ever saw, popping Tums by the handful and saying things like, "I'm getting too old for this shit."

But who am I kidding? I love it. Baseball is the thinking man's fantasy game. Football has long since lapped the national pastime in fantasy popularity, but any lunkhead can win it all in football so long as none of their top three picks blows an ACL or get concussed back to 1955.

Baseball requires knowledge of the game, patience, foresight, and actual managing skill. When video-game manufacturer 2K Sports hired Brian Cashman to consult on their 2009 game "MLB Front Office Manager," it was an unconscionably awful idea, but I could kind of see why they thought it would work.

Being a general manager is the fan's dream job, which makes fantasy baseball the closest 99.7 percent of us will ever get to it.

You likely have anywhere between one and 14 drafts coming up in the next three weeks, so River & Sunset is here to help you get a gauge on the fantasy value of your New York Yankees.

I won't tell you who to pick, because, to quote famed Hollywood screenwriter William Goldman, nobody knows anything. But I will give you my opinion on the value of this year's crop of Bombers.

Let's get to it, shall we?

YOU CAN'T GO WRONG

Robinson Cano: Gone are the days when you wonder if Cano can be a consistent Major Leaguer. You don't have to be concerned that a change in the batting order will send him into a funk. You don't even have to worry about those Friday night glow stick benders with Melky anymore. Cano's a certified stud, playing a position that doesn't have many of them. He averaged .320/30/110/100 the past two years, and at age 28, he's just now entering his prime. In a Yankee lineup loaded with aging stars, Cano stands out as a guy you can conceivably expect to get better.

CC Sabathia: Here's the type of guy you love to have on your fantasy team. Draft him, stick him in the front of your rotation and let him do his thing. You're going to get 33 starts, 220 innings, 20 wins, and close to 200 strikeouts. He's coming off knee surgery, which is a minor red flag, but it's nothing worth getting worked up over. Unless he drew his powers from salty tyrant of the breakfast table Capn' Crunch, Carsten Charles will remain studly.

SOLID VALUE AT LOW COST

Nick Swisher: Sure, it's likely that the .288 he hit last year was a bit of a fluke. He may drop down to the .255-.265 range in '11, but as long as he stays healthy you know you'll get 25-30 homers, 80-90 RBI and a OBP around .360. Even better, he's the type of guy who always drops a little further than he should, a rarity when it comes to a Yankee.

Brett Gardner: There are rumors that Gardner will get the leadoff spot this season, which bumps up his value for sure. A move from No. 9 to No. 1 in the order could give the left fielder close to 100 extra plate appearances. If he stays healthy and hits enough, he's a virtual lock for 115 runs and 50+ steals. Gardner won't help you anywhere else, but like Swisher, he could be a great value pick in the late rounds.

ZZZZZZZ ZZZZZZ ZZZZZZZ (SLEEPERS)

Curtis Granderson: In retrospect, it was almost too obvious Granderson would struggle in his first year in New York. He got off to a brutal start, then blew up his groin, costing him a month. His second half numbers (18 homers after the break) make you think a 30/30-type season is well within reach.

Freddy Garcia: You may have to mark this down as the delusions of a Yankee fan still trying to figure out why Andy Pettitte chose Deer Park and a nagging wife over the Bronx and 50,000 adoring fans, but I have a good feeling about Garcia. Obviously, I'm not expecting 2001-Freddy, but if he can give the team 25-30 starts, I can see him getting 12-15 wins. Don't expect much in the way of strikeouts and WHIP, but he could become a somewhat dependable commodity, especially in two-start weeks.

YOU FEELING LUCKY, PUNK?

A.J. Burnett: I refuse to recommend you draft Burnett on account of the whole single-most-maddening-Yankee-of-his-generation thing. I will say, that yes, the raw skills are still there, and yes, it's probably more likely he has a season closer to 2009 (13-9, 4.04 ERA, 207 IP, 195 Ks) than the abortion of 2010 (10-15, 5.26 ERA, 186.2 IP, 145 Ks). Just don't read too much into all the spring chatter about the Larry Rothschild-aided mechanical improvements. The changes Burnett has to make are all in the cranium.

Russell Martin: You can make the case that Martin is in line for a rejuvenation season similar to the one Nick Swisher enjoyed in his first season in pinstripes, but the 28-year-old is also a catcher who has dealt with some health problems in recent years. He also must contend with the consequences of Francisco Cervelli's broken foot and how that opened the door for the arrival of uber-prospect Jesus Montero. The Yankees gave Martin a healthy one-year, $4 million deal, which means he'll get every opportunity to keep the starting gig. But just know there may be some Wally Pipp/Buster Posey machinations at play here.

Joba Chamberlain: Who knows what to make of Chamberlain at this point? He's like the once-promising son who dropped out of school one credit shy of graduating and now spends all day on the couch playing XBox. He's no longer the ace of the future, no longer the closer of the future, hell, he's not even the setup man of the future anymore. The only good news is that the pressure is largely off his (um, broadening) shoulders at this point. If you're league counts holds as a category, Chamberlain could have a sneaky productive fantasy season in him. Just don't reach for him.

BUYER BEWARE

Alex Rodriguez: The biggest question that surrounds A-Rod as he enters his eighth (eighth!) season in pinstripes: Is he still a superduperstar? His 125 RBI in 139 games last year prove he's still a ferocious run producer, but his durability has become a concern as he's gotten deeper into his 30s. If he's still sitting there early in the third round, he's a good value. But don't go drafting him in the first or early-second round expecting 2007 A-Rod. The days of 50 homers and 150 RBI are likely done.

Jorge Posada: Is anybody else vaguely weirded-out by how Posada's final season in pinstripes is unfolding? Obviously, we all know it was wise to bring an end to the catching-phase of his career, but it's kind of uncomfortable watching the team move on without him even though he's still here. Catcher or not, I find it hard to imagine Posada staying healthy for an entire season at this point. Expect around 400 at-bats, maybe 15 homers, possibly 60 RBI...and that's a best-case scenario. The only thing sexy about Georgie at this point is his wife.

Derek Jeter: I don't put anything past Jeter, who just went through an entire offseason of people saying he wasn't worth the paper his new contract was printed on (well that, and sex with Minka Kelly, but that's beside the point). You know he'll be more determined than ever, but at 36, we can't expect anything close to 2009, right? Let's split the difference between '09 and '10 and say .290/180 hits/105 runs/12 homers/65 RBIs. Knowing Jeter, he'd be disappointed. But could you really ask for much more at this point?

G.O.A.T.

Mariano Rivera: The man defies categorical grouping since he may not be a man at all. The days of six-out saves are over, even more so with $35 million setup man in front of him. But who are we as mere mortals to say 35-40 more saves and a sub-2.00 ERA isn't a realistic possibility, even at age 41?

POTENTIAL STEALS

Phil Hughes: His 18 victories hid the fact that Hughes still has a lot of room for improvement, and it's definitely possible he takes the next step to ace-level figure in his age 25 season. You don't have to worry about the Phil Rules anymore either, his 175 innings thrown last year sets him up nicely for the jump to 200+. Don't expect to see that elusive changeup though.

Mark Teixeira: Injured or not, Teixeira got into some bad habits last season, and it led to the worst numbers of his career. You have to decide if he's due for an MVP bounce-back season, or a slow-but-steady Giambino-like decline. Seeing that Teixeira is a robot made up almost entirely of metal and other composite parts, I'll go with the former. He may even slip to the third round in many leagues, making him a huge bargain.

Rafael Soriano: Don't take him too high, since there's some dude wearing Jackie Robinson's number ahead of him on the closer's depth chart. But the incumbent is 41, meaning a promotion to closer could come at any time. And if your league counts hold, Soriano has way more value than a crappy closer that will probably be picked around the same time.

DON'T GET TOO CUTE, HOT SHOT

Jesus Montero: As I stated earlier, Francisco Cervelli's broken foot means that an April roster spot is now Montero's to lose. But Brian Cashman gave Martin a multi-million dollar contract to be the starter this season, meaning it's going to take a serious slump or injury for Montero to get the at-bats necessary to make him a worthy fantasy player. If your league has developmental players, jump all over young Jesus, otherwise steer clear.

Dellin Betances/Manny Banuelos: Yes, the youngsters have turned some heads in Tampa, with Russell Martin even saying Banuelos' stuff reminds him of Dodgers ace Clayton Kershaw. Heady praise, but I'm going to have to hit 'em with a Deion Sanders-style H.O.P. (hold on player). The Yankees aren't about to rush either pitcher to the show, even if their fifth starter is currently a cardboard cutout of the New York Lotto guy.

Bartolo Colon: Fact: Colon has won 14 games since 2005. Fact: Colon was out of baseball last season. Fact: No pitcher who bears a striking resemblance to deceased WWF legend Andre the Giant has ever had success in the major leagues. Fiction: Colon will be a key cog in the Yankees' 2011 starting rotation.

A DRAFT PICK IS A HORRIBLE THING TO WASTE

Mark Prior: Even his Steve Bartman voodoo doll has a sore shoulder at this point.

Eric Chavez: Sometimes I think the only reason Chavez is in camp is to fulfill Cashman's bizarre need to have at least one player each year who may spontaneously combust at any time. Nick Johnson leaves behind some very big (orthopedic) shoes to fill.

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

Read more New York Yankees news on BleacherReport.com

New York Yankees: Helpful Thoughts to Guide You Through Spring Training

Dan Hanzus — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 19:25:59 +0000

I've found, in my two-plus decades of baseball fandom, that the key to spring training coverage is to arm yourself with a ruthless filter.

The quicker you understand that 70 percent of news that comes out of camp is utter crap, the better off you'll be.

This isn't meant to be a dig on the beat writers on the scene—they're doing their job properly by and large, reporting on the minutiae of the day-to-day activities of each camp.

But ultimately, it is minutiae that they're reporting on. Much of it won't matter even a little bit by the time the Yankees open their season against the Tigers on March 31.

For example, this is the second straight camp we've read about Phil Hughes and the elusive changeup he's been attempting to perfect, the way Walter White engineers a clear batch of crystal meth in Breaking Bad.

If you recall last spring, much was made about Hughes learning the same off-speed pitch, and he said at the time that he believed it would take his game to the next level. Hughes went on to win 18 games last season, but it'd be surprising if he threw that many changeups over six months.

Another example: One of the big stories in camp so far has been Larry Rothschild's work with A.J. Burnett, as the pitching coach attempts to wipe away the bad habits that undercut the right-hander's doomed 2010 campaign.

This makes for acceptable blog and newspaper material, allowing the beat guys to file their copy, then hit up the approximate 42,000 "gentleman's" clubs that line the streets of Tampa. But as anyone that's followed Burnett's career knows, the pitcher's struggles have always been much more a mental issue than where his front foot lands during his delivery.

Or as SI.com's Jon Heyman put it on Twitter yesterday: "dont want to hear about aj burnetts new pitching coach or new motion. his issues are all above the neck." #headcase

The stories I pay more attention to lie in the realm of the concrete. Francisco Cervelli fouled a ball off the arch of his foot on Wednesday—watching it live, it reminded me of poor Jimmy Caan in Misery (he Kathy Bates'd himself!)—and the team is awaiting a report on his MRI. Now that's something I want to read more about.

It's all about your fan filter, my friends. Don't worry about the daily updates about Mark Teixeira and Derek Jeter's batting cage work, do pay attention to Freddy Garcia's spring starts and Jesus Montero's push for the backup catcher job.

Try not to get too caught up in Mark Prior's noble quest to be the mop-up man, instead follow prospect Dellin Betances' progress through the month or CC Sabathia's outings as he comes back from knee surgery.

Know where to look for your spring training news, and you'll leave hard drive space in your brain open for more important things, like coming up with a sweet fantasy team name that your friends will envy and your bosses will respect.

Just do yourself a favor and steer clear of The Winners, Tiger Blood, The Warlocks, or any other Charlie Sheen-related moniker. Be an original. Have some dignity, will you?

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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New York Yankees: Nick Johnson in the News, Brian Cashman Cringes

Dan Hanzus — Wed, 02 Mar 2011 09:12:41 +0000

We all have regrets. Some of us more than others.

Take your author for example. While I was in Miami for a bachelor party last weekend, my girlfriend was in Boston visiting my friend's wife who recently had a baby.

Right about the time that my buddies and I were being seated at celebrated steakhouse Prime 112, I began receiving text messages with images of a familiar-looking teenage doofus dressed head-to-toe in Aeropostale.

Yes, not only was my darling two bottles deep into Skinny Girl Margarita, she'd also happened across an old photo album filled with incriminating photos from my youth. A youth, for the record, that featured a lower scoring average than former Knicks center Herb Williams, who haplessly waited for a table at 112 as we devoured N.Y. Strip.

(See what I just did there? That was an explanabrag.)

Anyway, among the greatest hits in the glossy late-nineties collection was prom night, a forgettable evening in which I wore a tux brilliantly accessorized with a white scarf. In retrospect, the scarf looked ghastly and ridiculous—the saddest part being that I'm positive I paid extra so I could look like I was attending prom on the North Pole. I guess it could've been worse—my buddy Bob rocked a top hat and cane.

Like I said, we all have regrets.

Brian Cashman likely had a tux scarf moment of his own on Tuesday, when he looked at his Blackberry and saw that Nick Johnson signed a minor league deal with the Cleveland Indians.

Why the Tribe signed the injury-prone 1B/DH is anybody's guess (Insurance write-off purposes? Elaborate practical joke?), but my only advice is to keep sweet Nick away from Shelley Duncan. I can already picture Duncan homering this spring then vaporizing Johnson's radius bone with a celebratory forearm smash.

The Johnson misfire was a mistake that Cashman chased all season, like a football team that goes for two prematurely and then spends the rest of the game trying to get the points back.

Of course, Hideki Matsui didn't exactly light it up in Anaheim last season, but it still feels like we got cheated out of one more season of Japan's shining son in the Bronx. Sorry Lance Berkman, but I'll take Godzilla over Fat Elvis any day of the week.

Cashman is going in-house at designated hitter this season, as Jorge Posada begrudgingly prepares to assume the role on a near full-time basis. As anyone who cringed during last year's playoffs can attest, Posada's best position on defense is the dugout at this point, making this decision for Cashman a no-brainer.

Cash has moved on from his error in judgment, just as I did when I erased every last image of prom night from my phone. Best of luck to you, Nick the Stick, may Cleveland replace its LeBron mural with a rendering of you slapping a single to left in an impenetrable safety bubble.

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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Yankees Have No Choice but to Put Faith in A.J. Burnett

Dan Hanzus — Mon, 28 Feb 2011 09:42:21 +0000

It was the snapshot that summed up a season: A.J. Burnett standing on the mound in disbelief, his hands on top of his head, while a pumped up Bengie Molina carried his impressive gut around the base-paths at Yankee Stadium.

The Texas catcher's three-run homer in Game Four of the ALCS neatly accomplished two feats—it effectively ended the Yankees' repeat hopes while also putting a bow on Burnett's miserable second season in the Bronx.

How awful was Burnett in 2010? He was Creed-awful. He was 2001 Kobe Bryant rap single "K.O.B.E."-awful. He was Dane Cook movie-awful. You hear me? Dane Cook movie-awful, people! Have you ever seen My Best Friend's Girl?

Thirty-three starts, 186 2/3 innings, 204 hits, 5.26 ERA, a 10-15 record—and those numbers don't begin to do justice to how bad Burnett was for long stretches in 2010. When Dave Eiland mysteriously disappeared for six weeks last summer, perhaps we all missed the obvious explanation—Burnett had driven the beleaguered pitching coach into hiding.

Enter Larry Rothschild, whose principle job as Eiland's replacement was to somehow fix a very expensive broken piece of machinery. It's pretty much a sure thing that part of Rothschild's interview process involved a detailed battle plan for salvaging Burnett, who's entering the third-year of a getting-worse-by-the-minute five-year, $82.5 million deal signed in December 2008.

Rothschild has likely studied plenty of tape from Burnett's 2010 season, which I surmise was as pleasurable as watching The Human Centipede in 3D. What he saw was two pitchers—one very good (April, May, July) and one comically bad (June, August, September). After escaping the maniacal clutches of Carlos Zambrano in Chicago, Rothschild must be wondering what he did to deserve this.

He'll quickly learn that when it comes to Burnett, it's all about taking the good with the bad. That's something Brian Cashman knew even before he brought the pitcher to New York. Sure, Burnett let Molina and the Rangers throw a Molotov cocktail at their 2010 postseason, but we can't forget starts like Game Two of the 2009 World Series, when Burnett overwhelmed a loaded Phillies lineup over seven brilliant innings.

His performance that night was one of the best—and most important—in recent franchise playoff history. It makes it all the more frustrating when he goes through funks like last June, when he went 0-5 with a 11.35 ERA. It's hard to be that dreadful. It's almost as if there's an A.J. Burnett doppelganger out there pulling a Frank Drebin/Enrico Pallazzo move as the real Allan James lays hog-tied in the clubhouse.

Now, the scary part. When Andy Pettitte decided to stay in Deer Park and Cliff Lee had his cheese-steak epiphany, Burnett suddenly, unbelievably, became the key to the Yankees' 2011 season. I peed myself a little just writing that last sentence. Seriously.

If Burnett can't figure out a way to turn it around, the Yankees have virtually no chance of going back to the postseason. As it stands, the team already needs something in the neighborhood of 40 wins between CC Sabathia and Phil Hughes, the former coming off knee surgery and the latter armed with just one full season of starting experience. The back end of the rotation is a well-chronicled work in progress, making Burnett the link between both sides of the rotation.

You know that with Burnett we won't get much in the way of middle ground. He'll either be the glue that holds the rotation together, or he'll be the one who flicks the match on a haystack soaked in kerosene. In other words, if Burnett didn't already have enough pressure on himself to get his career back on track, he also holds his team's fate in his hands.

I need to go lay down.

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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New York Yankees Will Lean Heavily on the Power of the Comeback

Dan Hanzus — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 10:25:17 +0000

Considering how many Yankees had sub par seasons by their standards in 2010, it can be considered a minor miracle the team came within two games of returning to the World Series last fall.

Many of those slumping stars are back in 2011. Does having several key players with something to prove provide a perfect cocktail for success? Or are the Yankees closing in on a new season with a roster filled with soon-to-be has-beens?

River & Sunset is here to give you a list of the Yankees looking to improve on their season of a year ago.

GET BETTER OR GET GONE

A.J. Burnett: The tattooed one's ERA by month in 2010: 2.43, 4.03, 11.35, 2.00, 7.80, 5.60. There's a great pitcher locked away in there somewhere. Larry Rothschild, I present you baseball's Rubik's Cube.

Joba Chamberlain: There's a growing legion of doubters when it comes to Chamberlain—will he use that as motivation to improve or ignore it and continue to wallow in mediocrity? The overarching question with Joba: Does he get it?

FUNK SHAKERS

Curtis Granderson: Now here's a prime candidate for a comeback season. Some guys take a full year before they're comfortable and playing at their full capability in New York, and Granderson seems like the classic example. Fantasy owners be advised.

Mark Teixiera: Totally underrated subplot of the Yankees' failure to defend their championship last season was Teixeira's baffling fall from the ranks of superstardom. His numbers were hardly terrible (33 homers, 108 RBI, league-leading 113 runs), but his game sprung leaks that you'd never expect from a T-800 cyborg. Perhaps the hand and foot injuries were more serious than he let on. I'm more of the feeling that (yet another) slow start led to some bad habits that snowballed on him. If Tex gets out of the gate fast this April, he's an MVP candidate.

FATHER TIME VS. THE ALL-STAR

Alex Rodriguez: He was still an epic run producer last season (125 RBIs in 137 games), but it's fair to ask if the superstar era of A-Rod's career is over. His OPS has declined in each of the past three years and he's missed 87 games since 2008 after missing just 19 in the seven years prior. The 35-year-old said he's feels like himself this spring, but you wonder if the hip condition is something that will ever prevent him from being that elite guy again.

Derek Jeter: Just to be clear, the captain doesn't need the insane ramblings of Hank Steinbrenner to get motivated. He's coming off the worst season of his career, and there's no way he didn't go nuts this offseason looking to wash out the taste of '10. The question is whether he has another classic Jeterian season (200 hits, 115 runs, 15 homers) in his 36-year-old bones. Count me as a believer.

Jorge Posada: I don't see much in the way of middle ground when it comes to Posada at this point. He'll either get 450-500 at-bats, hit 20-25 homers and drive 70-80 runs as the full-time DH/spot catcher, or he'll break down and enter the depressing late-period Jason Varitek phase of his career. I've made a lot of Jason Varitek jokes since 2008; I'm praying karma isn't going to take it out on poor Georgie.

THE DONNIE WAHLBERG AKA THE NEW KID ON THE BLOCK

Jesus Montero: The Yankees seem committed to taking it slow with Montero, but they should also be cognizant not to keep a Buster Posey-type talent in the minors just because they don't want to rush the process. If the kid hits in spring training, there's no reason he shouldn't replace Cervelli as backup catcher. If he keeps hitting, there's no reason he shouldn't replace Russell Martin as starter. Yep, I'm drinking the Jesus Juice.

THE LAME DUCK

Brian Cashman: It's been pretty tough sledding for Cashman since the Yankees' World Series win, with some failed acquisitions and two whiffs on Cliff Lee. Now he enters the walk year of his contract. If the wheels fall off this season, it'd be very interesting to see if the front office thought a change in culture was necessary.

THE LOW EXPECTATION EXPRESS

No. 4 and 5 starters: The good news for the two guys that win these roles? Everyone already assumes you suck. So, yeah, the bar is pretty close to the pavement here. Whether you're Sergio Mitre, Bartolo Colon, Freddy Garcia, a Bronx garbage man, that guy with the riser in your Sunday morning softball league, Charlie Sheen, or one of Charlie Sheen escorts, understand that if you string a couple of quality starts together you'll get the Michael Kay equivalent of Al Michaels' "Do you believe in miracles? Yes!"

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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New York Yankees: Hank Steinbrenner Takes on Derek Jeter

Dan Hanzus — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 08:43:21 +0000

At this point in the game, we've learned three irrefutable truths about Yankees co-chairman Hank Steinbrenner.

1) His stance on recreational nicotine use stands in sharp contrast to the Surgeon General's.
2) No one takes him even remotely seriously.
3) He cannot be shut up.

Steinbrenner added to his greatest hits collection on Monday when he shared his thoughts on a number of issues that came off, in print at least, as the rantings of a Daniel Plainview-level madman.

His money quote was an obvious shot at shortstop Derek Jeter: "I think, maybe, they celebrated too much last year. Some of the players, too busy building mansions and doing other things, not concentrating on winning. I have no problem saying that."

Perhaps realizing the incendiary nature of his remarks, Steinbrenner backed off, insisting he wasn't singling anyone out. Call me crazy, but I doubt he was referring to the lakeside manor Ramiro Pena has sitting in escrow.

Normally when a high-level member of management puts his biggest star on blast for no apparent reason, it's a huge story. But in the case of Steinbrenner, it will serve primarily as blog and Twitter fodder for a day or so before disappearing into the ether.

Hank is kind of like the Asian dude who took over for Steve Perry in Journey in that respect: He may sound eerily similar to the famous man he replaced, but ultimately it's just irrelevant nonsense. Don't stop believin'? We never started.

I suppose I'm vaguely interested to see how Jeter will respond to the dig, but knowing the captain, the insult was too obtuse to warrant a serious response. Saying his sub-standard 2010 was tied to the construction of St. Jetersburg is like saying the people of Egypt revolted against their government because the pyramids are old. One has absolutely nothing to do with the other. It's not like he was flying down to Tampa on off days to build the sucker himself.

You want to talk distractions? How about the period from 1996 to 2007 when Jeter nailed 87 percent of the hot chick population in Manhattan? Can you even imagine all the time he had to put into figuring out ways to get these women out of his bed in the morning? I'm exhausted just thinking about it.

El Capitan: All right—(struggling to remember girl's name)—sweetheart, I have to get to the Stadium for BP.
Hot chick: But it's December...
El Capitan: Um, yeah, well they moved spring training up this year.
Hot chick: Isn't spring training in Florida?
El Capitan: (Frazzled, searching for comeback) You're the one in Florida! (bolts out front door).

Steinbrenner did manage a few fleeting moments of clarity during his interview. He's unhappy with baseball's revenue sharing, luxury tax systems and he thinks it's time Bud Selig did something about it. The Yankees were hit with an approximate $130 million tab in 2010 alone.

"At some point, if you don't want to worry about teams in minor markets, don't put teams in minor markets, or don't leave teams in minor markets if they're truly minor," Steinbrenner said. "Socialism, communism, whatever you want to call it, is never the answer."

Can't really argue with him there. Teams like the Pirates, Padres and Royals have reaped the financial benefits of baseball's ruling class for nearly a decade now, but their payrolls remain near the bottom of the league. Something doesn't smell right.

Wait a minute. What am I doing agreeing with Hank Steinbrenner? Brainwashing, Stockholm Syndrome, whatever you want to call it, is never the answer.

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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New York Yankees: What Joba’s Gut Says About Joba

Dan Hanzus — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 19:23:13 +0000

It started out innocently enough.

Last Wednesday, Joba Chamberlain was among several Yankees pitchers to report early to the team's spring complex in Tampa, and some beat writers on the scene remarked on Twitter that the reliever looked as though he'd put on weight.

Only, nothing is really innocent when it comes to Twitter and reporting anymore. The two have converged suddenly—you could argue recklessly—in the past year, turning off-the-cuff thoughts into BREAKING NEWS. Chamberlain and Chubgate was just the latest example.

On one hand, it was hardly a big deal. Baseball is the last bastion for the beer-gutted professional athlete. Basketball and football have long since become workplaces where even punters and third-string power forwards look like T-800 Terminator models.

The majority of baseball players are also more fit than ever, but it remains the one sport—not counting bowling and golf ... never count bowling and golf—where you can be overweight and still be elite. Look no further than the top of the Yankees' rotation, where CC Sabathia—even after swearing off the salty tyrant of the breakfast table, Cap'n Crunch—tips the scales at 290 pounds.

If Chamberlain is carrying a little more heat around the midsection, so be it. He's a middle reliever anyway, designed for short bursts of efficiency. When I was in college in Boston, the Red Sox's most reliable setup man was Rich Garces, a dude whose fitness level was so ghastly he earned the mocking nickname, "El Guapo."

But on the other hand, you can't help but wonder if this is just the latest red flag for Chamberlain. Right now, he's using the husky frat guy excuse ("Been pumpin' iron, bro, addin' mass, bro, just gettin' big, bro"), but it's not exactly convincing. Brian Cashman appeared to bite his tongue when asked about Chubgate, remarking, "He is heavier. Leave it at that."

Joe Girardi, a classic my-body-is-my-temple type and the guy who banned sweets from the Yankees clubhouse, reserved judgment in his chat with the media, but it's clearly the 800-pound middle reliever in the room right now.

What's most disappointing is that Chamberlain entered the offseason fully aware that this is a make-or-break season in his Yankees career. He was passed over for a rotation spot last spring, and was then slowly fazed from the bullpen hierarchy during the summer and fall. The most telling move came in December, when the New York spent millions and a draft pick to make Rafael Soriano the world's most expensive understudy.

The player who gets it comes into camp more determined than ever. He feels angry, disrespected even. The Revenge Factor is at Balboa-Drago levels. Roger Clemens once revitalized his career in Toronto with the help of a chip on his shoulder.

Chamberlain makes you worry that he's the type of guy who doesn't get it. Of course, it'd be unfair to pass judgment on the basis of a few tweets and a handful of AP photos. But when it comes to Chamberlain, the average Yankees fan has gone from dreaming big to expecting the worst.

What a big fat waste that would be.

Dan Hanzus writes three columns a week on his New York Yankees site, River & Sunset. He can be reached at dhanzus@gmail.com. Follow Dan on Twitter @danhanzus.

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